THE VIDDY WELL 0

PERFUME ADS: THE BIZARRE & THE BRILLIANT

By PARALLEL MADNESS @parallelmadness · On April 25, 2016

What’s that smell? Can you smell that smell?

It’s sex. And money. Lots of it.

These fascinating public displays of narcissism have resulted in the strange, the beautiful, the hilarious and the downright wrong from the likes of David Lynch, Ridley Scott, Baz Luhrmann and some other assorted depraved perverts from around the world.

HERE WE GO.

1. CHANEL ÉGOÏSTE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JSRXtH3wRk

Director : Jean-Paul Goude

Year : 1990

This one gets better with every viewing. Goude was a true artist and advertising was his playground.

“The advertising, in the 1960s, was extraordinary. The first time an issue of Esquire arrived with a cover by George Lois, I said to myself, that’s what I want to do.”

– From Vogue’s November 2011 piece on Goude

The maestro even sired a child with his ‘former muse’, Grace Jones.

He also featured in an early 90s anthology of ads compiled by Dario Argento – The King Of Ads.

2. CUMMING

Director : ???

Year : 2004

“I’m Cumming.”

– Alan Cumming

3. SHARE THE FANTASY – CHANEL N°5

Director : Ridley Scott

Year : 1980

René Magritte meets Blade Runner in Ridley Scott’s series of commercials for Chanel. Scott’s also knocked a few out of the park for Guinness.

4. A THOUSAND QUIVERS – COTY WILD MUSK

Director : ???

Year : 1983

“Use it before you stalk.”

Although it seems like an anti-violent sexual crime PSA, this was a real commercial. According to a very reliable and trustworthy source:

“The guy is Peter Tramm, who was the guy in ZZ Top’s Sharp Dressed Man video, and also did most of Kevin Bacon’s dancing in Footloose. He died when he was just 33 years old.”

– VeraVee, YouTube commenter, June 2015

Here’s Tramm rocking it in Sharp Dressed Man:

5. CALVIN KLEIN’S OBSESSION

Director : Bruce Weber

Year : 1985

Obsession launched soon after Klein’s divorce, and during a sustained period of “anything goes” promiscuity.

“Obsession was about insanity, not just my own personal insanity… It was society’s obsession with work and love.”

– Calvin Klein quoted in Tom Reichert’s book, The Erotic History of Advertising

Here’s another commercial which may as well be coined Hot 4 Teacher…

AH, THE SMELL OF IT.

6. GIO – ARMANI

Director : David Lynch

Year : 1992

Lynch is prone to phoning it in when he doesn’t care, but what the hell, this is one of his better commercial attempts and

DAVID LYNCH = HITS

7. CANOE COLOGNE

Director : ???

Year : 1981

Without a doubt, Dennis from It’s Always Sunny wears this.

8. RIVE GAUCHE – YVES SAINT LAURENT

Director : ???

Year : 1979

If this was a Netflix show, Huffington Post and Caitlin Moran would be all over this.

Let’s sing it together:

Here she comes,

An independent woman.

The girl who is so contemporary,

She’s having too much fun to marry.

She’s not sitting home by the phone,

If she wants to go, she goes alone.

9. LE FILM – CHANEL N°5

Director : Baz Luhrmann

Year : 2004

Le Film is Baz Luhrmann’s crack at remaking Notting Hill with Nicole Kidman and a secretly sexy guy who only looks good without his shirt and glasses. Careful: this one’s a tearjerker.

10. TRAMP

Director : ???

Year : 1977

Believe it or not, you can still buy a perfume called TRAMP from LUSH.

11. THERE YOU ARE – CHANEL N°5

Director : Joe Wright

Year : 2012

Chanel yet again. They’ve seemingly cracked the code for getting perfume commercials right. This one’s pompous, deluded, transfixing and utterly nonsensical.

Telling from Brad Pitt’s hair, it looks like he shot this quickie in a studio whilst on a lunch break on the set of World War Z.